BE GRATEFUL AND FREE
Power story by Sophia Sikhosana, Author, Coach and Speaker
Reflecting on how my life used to be, I’m always motivated to teach and inspire people about the power of gratitude as an internal resource to set them free from anxiety and depression. We all know the saying “thank you goes a long way”. I was very familiar with the notion when I received or got what I wanted. That was the root cause of my anxiety and frustration. Unbelievably so, the other contributing factor to the many of my failing marriage.
To share a bit of our story, in strength and weakness, was the vows I took with my dear husband. So excited I was to be getting married to my prince charming. He was so perfect in my eyes. The honeymoon phase is the best. As a wife, many can relate. I got so spoiled. He had promises made to me out of excitement. It wasn’t long that the real test of our marriage started. Our weaknesses were visible. Our finances were in a bad state, and the list goes on. Now things were not going my way. Arguments became our way of communicating. I never stopped crying, blaming him and complaining, and threatening to leave him.
The reason for my behavior, like many in similar or different circumstances, had nothing to do with the situation itself. It was more of my mindset, my focus, and my perspective. I focused on all the misfortunes taking place. I convinced myself that “EVERYTHING” was in the worst state. My view of our marriage became negative. No advice from a parent, Priest, even a professional marriage counselor was not enough to convince me otherwise. In this state, which decision can you take except to self distract? We eventually got divorced.
I mentioned earlier that gratitude is a powerful internal resource and can set you free. Six months apart from my Ex-husband, I had no one to point a figure at, argue with or complain about except self introspect and reflect. Our greatest weakest is the inability to be still and look both within and around. We are always seeking and yenning. Wishing over things we don’t have, think we should have, sometimes even what others have instead of investing, acknowledging, and utilizing what we have. I realized there was so much about my husband, our marriage, our family I could have appreciated. Noting down my reflection, my list of gratitude was more that of complaints.
When we finally grasp the meaning of gratitude, that it has nothing to do with what we have or don’t have, receive or lose. But, about appreciation. Our mindset, attitude, regard, and perspective change. We become conscious of the gifts life has offered us. We value the little things we have. Our minds permanently blog the negativity because it becomes familiar with always reflecting to find the positive in any situation. Challenges come and go yet our mental state remains unshaken. We remain confident for better days because we made it through the worst days and seasons. Life with gratitude is free, peaceful, and calm.
My husband and I remarried. We continue to live every day with so much gratitude, faith, love, and support.
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